Some people describe a long-term relationship like sinking into a hot bath; it can almost burn you with the intensity of its heat to begin with, but as time goes by the edge of the heat starts to evaporate, it may be more comfortable, you can relax, put your feet up, but before you know it the water that was hot enough to make you sweat all over is not even lukewarm.
We always run the risk of losing that initial intensity, the passion that made us unable to think of anything else, than the next time we would get to tear the clothes of our partner and fornicate like wild animals, where and whenever we had the slightest chance.
Well, the bad news is that the passion that was just there for you, that you just had to hold on to for dear life and enjoy the ride, that type of passion requires some more effort on your part as years go by. But the good news is that it does not have to be gone forever.
But remember to prioritize each other. If you have kids make sure that you will get at least a couple of nights per month all to yourselves. Then you will also start to see that the ten window opportunity of spare-time that used to be enough for the two of you to be all over each other, is starting to return. It will also cause some of that sexual tension to return, as you will have something to build up to.
Do not try to routine-hump the passion back. Couples that keep having sex just because they have read in relationship magazines that screwing is a vital part, are not doing themselves any favors. The lust has to be in it. The fun. The adventure.
Re-discover all those small but so important details that are also a part of passion. Like the way you look at each other, the way you present yourself. Try to divide the comfortable parts and sneak in a little bit of sexy in between. Dress up one night a week, where you make an effort besides that of slipping out of your work clothes and into your favorite robe as soon as you step one foot in the door.
Experiment. We are so stuffed with images of what a relationship should be about that we sometimes have a hard time figuring out who we are in all this, and what we want. Talk about your sexual desires, do not be afraid to open up. Couples that start to explore and expand their own boundaries often find that it is a new source of lust.
Signing up for a casual dating app could be a great way to start. You can meet other couples. You can try new things. And as you release your passions from the shackles of what sex in a relationship should be about according to the strict guidelines of society morals, and start finding out what sex and passion means for the two of you, then you will always have the choice of what kind of temperature you want your bath water to be.